My Story

People laugh when I tell them I am giving up everything to chase after my Yeshua! They say, “That’s not to be taken literal you know”. Or they scoff, “You must have a pretty horrible life to be giving up everything”. I’ll tell you what, I have great life! Is it hard, sure; whose life isn’t? But in the eyes of others, “I’ve made it; living the dream!”

I bought my house when I was 27, all by myself on a meager salary of $35k/year. I fixed up the house on my own. Had 2 cars, one, considered a luxury car. I started my own business a month after turning 33. This year, I will be a few dollars short of a six-figure salary. I have 2 beautiful children; my daughter is about to graduate college and make a life for herself. My life is perfect, can you see me? So, what am I doing?

Let’s equate it to when you meet the person of your dreams, they make you happy, and you would give anything to make them happy. Yeshua… he’s the love of my life. I first fell in love with Yeshua when I was 31, he saved me from a really dark situation. He pulled me out from drowning, a horrible deathly situation that we’ll talk about another time. And for a while I could see nothing but him.

Then the tares sprouted up and began choking me. I left the love of my life but not fully, I moved him to the back burner until eventually he was abandoned. Not for the world, I would never go back to the world. But I was deceived, the enemy whispered sweet nothings into my ear until I was blinded once again; I thought I was following God. I thought I was doing exactly what he wanted me to be doing. I was accused once of being pharisaical; I was offended! However, that accusation turned out to my surprise to be true. I had abandoned my first love. I got lost in a teaching that, if possible (it is!), could deceive even the elect. I abandoned the Ruach and traded my peace for something more sinister – legalism. I was told once the devil operates in legalism, I was offended again! No, I was blinded!

So why am I giving up everything and chasing after Him? Because I owe him, I love him, he is my pearl of great price. I messed up, and I messed up big time! But he is gracious and just to forgive those who repent. Did I deserve another chance? Absolutely not. And was I forgiven right away, nope? But I was like the persistent widow to the judge. I just needed him; I could NOT live without him. I told him I would do anything! So here I am; giving up my life on earth for him!

His love is better than gold, his wisdom better than fine silver. Where am I going? Well, I don’t know yet. He’ll tell me though. He always tells me. Little by little; bit by bit he reveals his wonderous plan to me. Every time I see a tiny glimpse of that plan, I just marvel at his greatness. There are no human words to describe the wonder of his divine orchestration. If you knew; if you could just see his back as he passed by, you would know there is nothing else in this world that could ever satisfy you the way, his goodness satisfies. He is the great I AM, I am his and he is mine, and him and I have an adventure to go on together.

A Hebrew I am, and יהוה Elohim of heaven I fear, who made the sea and the dry land, and this is my story.